Collywobble: A Rock Opera

by Hectorina

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about

Jonah Collywobble is a young, former astronaut who travels back home to Earth after being laid off. He begins indulging in his lack of responsibility and meets a beautiful young socialite named Astrid Cuttlefish. Their brief, but intense love affair ends with Jonah feeling despondent. After skipping town Jonah's life begins to spiral out of control.

Some time after that, as Jonah finds himself walking along a mysterious shoreline, he meets a group of inter-dimensional explorers called The Curious Cavalcade who invite him to join them on their quest to find the gateway to heaven. But, as Jonah and his new friends become lost at sea, the keeper of the gateway appears ...

credits

released May 24, 2013

////////////////////////////////Characters//////////////////////////////////////
Dylan Gilbert - Jonah Collywobble
John Harrell III - Captain Arthur Frendreczeco
Zachary Jordan - First Mate Robert "Mondo" Monduligan
Bibis Ellison - Astrid Cuttlefish
Summer Windham - The Mermaid

////////////////////////////////// Credits ///////////////////////////////////////
story & songs by Dylan Gilbert
music, production & art design by Hectorina
engineered by Greg Gilbert
mastered by Carl Saff
graphic design and layout by Stephen Barrett (Mental Floss Design)
trumpet performed by Julio Jeri
all songs Copyright 2013
all rights reserved

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Hectorina Charlotte, North Carolina

P.O. Box 680931 Charlotte, NC 28216

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Track Name: The Return To Earth Overture
(Instrumental)
Track Name: Jonah, King Of The Space Program
Jonah Collywobble: Now that I’m back on planet earth I haven’t got a single care in the whole wide world. I thought I’d find something out in the darkness. Much to my surprise, I came home empty handed. I’m so glad to be home. I’ll get me a box of wine. Find some time alone.
Track Name: The Former Astronaut Sluggishly Enters A Pub
Jonah: My name is Jonah Collywobble. I have just returned from outer space. Would somebody like to buy me a drink? Or keep me company?
Track Name: What's This Creature?
Jonah: What’s this creature walking through the door of this downtown pub?

Astrid: My name is Astrid Cuttlefish. I’m new in town. Can I buy you a drink?
Or would you like to dance, young man?

Jonah: Oh I never learned how to dance, but maybe you’re just what I need a little excitement. You're beautiful it’s true but my heart is fragile and I just got home from exploring the stars and I can’t be bothered.

Astrid: Don’t be shy. Stay awhile. Don’t be shy. Stay awhile.

Jonah: I can feel her teeth sinking in. I can’t resist. At least for one night.
Track Name: A Little Excitement
Jonah: I know you’re a cold-hearted woman

Astrid: With sharp sharp teeth.

Jonah: Preying on unsuspecting young suitors with your siren speak

Astrid: After a few drinks anyone will let their guard down. I could be you’re mistress bartender , preacher’s daughter, moneylender. Come home with me tonight. Come home with me tonight. After a few drinks anyone will let their guard down.

Jonah: Maybe you’re just what I need a little excitement...
Track Name: Shed Some Light On The Retrospectre
Jonah: It used to be fun going to sleep and waking up still drunk, but now that I'm older I just don't think that I can keep up with her. I’m beginning to doubt myself and all the choices that I’ve made. I don't wanna feel like hell in the morning. And now I'm dancing. I wish I could remember how much fun I'm having. The lights and sound start blurring together. I’m beginning to doubt myself and all the choices that I’ve made. I don't wanna feel like hell in the morning. And all of a sudden all the world starts spinning! All the atheist kids are all singing about Jesus. And all the tiny flowers are telling me I’ve become a caricature. I just don't know just what that means. What does that mean?! Swirling around in all the night clubs and the excess. I can feel my blood getting thinner.
Track Name: Animals Eat Each Other All The Time
Jonah: I wish I could make up my mind Oh God knows I've tried. I've loved so many girls in my lifetime that’s why I live a lonely life. Animals eat each other all the time you need my flesh to survive. I don’t blame you for tearing me apart I’m the owner of a caged up heart. It might be worth it to be eaten alive by a creature with such passion in her eyes.
Please tell momma I said goodbye. I don’t want to get caught inside your web. I wanna say "No". I bet you don’t hear that word that often. But you’ll get your way you always do. I can’t resist you. Lay my body in an open field. Everything inside’s reviled. I knew when I saw you circling me that you'd be the last thing Id see.

Astrid: Drink up, darling. Don’t be afraid.

Jonah: It might be nice for someone to love me till I’m old and gray, but I just can’t give my heart away. I have to break free of this spell you've put on me.
Track Name: Astrid, Voice Of The Moon
Jonah: I believe that God himself could come right down and punch you in the mouth and you’d be too drunk to notice. You’ve been at the same party for two whole weeks and I just can’t believe you’re right here where I left you. Oh I’m sorry, Astrid. It used to be cute but now it’s getting old. I used to think that you were the voice of the moon.
Who will save your soul? I don’t know. You’re in the black hole. You’ve been taking molly in the bathroom at Snug Harbor and I think you just want attention. Oh yeah you stay up late and you go to sleep early in the morning and I am seriously worried. I stayed longer than I should have. Please forgive me. I wasn't in a good place either. I hope you find somebody who loves you the way that I did. Someone who can help you. I've got to go.
Track Name: I'm Skipping Town
Jonah: I'm skipping town out to the east coast. I'm skipping town I'm gonna do what I want for a change. I'm skipping town out to the east coast. I'm skipping town I'll be wild and happy and free
Track Name: Lost Weekend Waltz
Jonah: Oh I chastised you for drinking yourself to death. Inhaling all kinds of smoke with every single breath. Now that I’ve left town I can’t help but think; if I keep living like you do what’s going to happen to me? It’s a long way down, baby. So superficial hypocritical I was. Now that I've sunk to your level I could never judge. It hit me like a bag of bricks last night and fifteen till three. I was drunk stumbling to my car. No that can’t be me! On my lost weekend I had so many dreams about you and Oh Astrid I never knew that after all that’s happened I could miss you.
Track Name: Curious Cravings To See The Sea
Jonah: Astrid’s memory still haunts me in my dreams at night. It’s daybreak. The party’s over. I can feel six months of hair grown on my half drunk face. I’ve been living real hard since I last called your name. Oh Astrid! How could I have known that leaving you would leave me in this state? And I’m not even sure what state I’m in. As I walk across the beach I see some people gathering. They must have caught themselves a beast.

First Mate Robert "Mondo" Monduligan: Hello Stranger, we’ve caught ourselves a feast. Would you like some sea monster meat?

Jonah: And then the Captain walked up to me and he said...

Captain Arthur Frendreczeco: My name is Captain Arthur Frendreczeco and this is The Curious Cavalcade. We sailed here on our sturdy ship The Radiant Radish. We are explorers in the name of God. What was your name sir?

Jonah: My name is Jonah Collywobble. I’ve been nursing a strong headache and a broken heart from a girl I didn’t even know I loved.

The Captain: Do you think that it’s a sign that we met up like this? Through all our travels across vast dimensions, through the horrid monster ridden salty seven seas one thing is clear...that everything happens for a reason.

Jonah: I’m not sure that I understand what you mean?

The Curious Cavalcade Crew: Why don’t you tell us your story, Jonah?

Jonah: I always dreamed I’d be and Astronaut. After I sailed around the moon I got laid off. I’ve been living on my pay from the Government, spending the last few months in Charlotte. And I never wanted to fall in love. I’d been hurt many times before. Oh Astrid, Oh Astrid. I had to run away from you. Cause when I was young I always dreamed I’d find a love so pure and true, but instead I got you!

The Crew: What happened next?!

Jonah: She tried to eat my flesh, but I may have given up the greatest mess I’ve ever ever had.

Astrid (in Jonah's mind): Hold on I think you’re over reacting. It’s not like I was your one true love. If you remember correctly I‘m the one that you left behind! You should have held your tongue.

Jonah: I’m so sorry

Astrid (in Jonah's mind): You shouldn’t drink so much when you get lonely. You say things that you don’t mean.

Jonah: That I don't mean! I can almost hear her calling out my irony. She still sings to me inside my mind. I’m losing track of reality. I said things that I didn’t mean.

The Crew: That was a very sad story, Jonah.

The Captain: I believe I’ve thought this through.

The First Mate: Maybe we can help you. You can join us on our quest to discover the un-discoverable.

The Captain: Do you think that it’s a sign from God? You gotta get that flesh eating, hard drinking harlot off your mind.

The Crew: Get her off of your mind!

Jonah: My checks have started to run out and my luck has been run dry. I guess I’ll give my sea legs a try.
Track Name: Intermezzo
(Instrumental)
Track Name: I Was Young
Jonah: I thought that I could go the distance. I thought that I could travel miles and miles for you. All I wanted was somewhere to hang my hat on. All I wanted was someone that I could count on. When I was young I always knew that I would have to grow up. But how could I know that it would come so soon? I thought that I could know the difference
between lust and love. Oh God, I thought I could. All I wanted was something that I could call mine. All I wanted was just a little more time. Sometimes I forget that I’m not a child. Sometimes I forget.
Track Name: An Inter-dimensional Spat For The Right To Walk Away The Victor
Jonah: Oh Captain Arthur. Where are we heading? We have been at sea for nine long days!

The Captain: We have been waiting

The First Mate: For something to happen

The Captain: You'll have to be patient

The First Mate: And keep your eyes open

Jonah: I can hardly contain myself. It's all that I can do.

The Crew: We have been bestowed the most divine of secrets. God himself has shown us the way to the entrance to heaven.

Jonah: Well that seems kinda crazy. How could I believe those things? Such silly inconceivable things.

The Captain: You must have faith

The First Mate: As much as a mustard seed

The Captain: First Mate Robert Moduligan!

The First Mate: Yes?

The Captain: Have you gotten us lost, boy?

The First Mate: Yes I have gotten us lost, sir! Our compass has gone haywire.

The Captain: Mondo, you'll spend 12,467 days in the clink for this tomfoolery!

Jonah: What's that in the sky?!

The First Mate: I can't believe my eyes!

Jonah: It's a flying beast!

The First Mate: What could this mean?

The Captain: This is a bad omen

The First Mate: Could we deserve this?

The Captain: A demon owl from the sky

The First Mate: Shoots lasers from his eyes

Jonah: I am starting to loose my mind. It's all that I can do.

The Crew: How could we have misread the signs that showed us the way? Now we must fight this beast from the sky. Prepare yourself, Jonah!

Jonah: Wait this seems kinda crazy. How could we defeat this thing? This giant evil terrible thing? It doesn't look too happy whatever it is!

The Captain: This giant monster bird is going to destroy our ship. Oh God!

The First Mate: Whoa! Incoming!

Jonah: I'm a dead man

The Crew: The sky grew dark and the rain fell down and a laser beam shot right through our hull
Track Name: God Help Us
Jonah: I thought quickly when I was in the gutter. I thought quickly to get my next meal and you may ask me how did this begin. I’m not sure but I know how it will end. Oh God help us, please!

The Captain: I thought quickly, hoist up the main sail. I thought quickly. Load up the cannons! and you may ask me..

The Crew: Sir, Is this it?!

The Captain: Save yourself boys, I will go down with this ship!

Jonah: Oh God Help Us

The Captain: Oh God Help Us

Jonah: Oh God Help Us

The First Mate: Oh God Help Us

The Crew: Oh God Help Us Please!

Jonah: I thought quickly when the sky started to part as some sort of beast tore us all apart and you may ask me how did this begin. I’m not sure but I know how it will end.
Track Name: The Ship Is Sinking
The First Mate: We the Curious Cavalcade

The Captain: Crew of the purist ship in all the seas

The First Mate: Our hearts beat so soft and sweet.

The Captain: How could we get thrown to the bottom of the sea by this feathered, flying, monstrosity?! Forgive us Oh Lord we know not what we’ve done!

The Crew: The ship is sinking!
Track Name: Die Devil Bird
Jonah: All my friends are dead and I can’t understand why this has happened to me! Now the ship has sank to the bottom of the sea the very bottom of the sea and I stand firmly on a piece of driftwood as this creature flies around me screaming. Die Devil Bird!

The Crew (as Ghosts): All your friends are dead and we can't understand why this has happened to you.

Jonah: Fight me beast! I challenge you.

The Crew (as Ghosts): Hallelujah! Hallelujah!
Kill him, Jonah! Kill him, Jonah!

Jonah: I’ve been struck down!
Track Name: At The Bottom Of The Sea
Jonah: Oh the irony. First I sank into the bottle now I'm sinking to the bottom of the sea. Oh the irony. My friends wanted to find heaven but they didn't get there the way they expected.
Track Name: Might As Well Be Dead
Jonah: I was a man. A hard working, God fearing young man. But now I’m just a pile of dust, the remnants of what was. Oh the world’s been so unkind to me. I was a man. A well read, well dressed young man. But now I’m just a pair of ragged claws. Oh the world’s been so unkind to me. Now I Now I Now I might as well be dead. Oh what’s become of me. I was a man. A naive, optimistic young man. But now I’m just a little ghost, a shadow. Oh the world’s been so unkind to me.
Track Name: The Mermaid Song
Jonah: As I came to I’d washed unto a strange beach. My whole body aching I could have swore I was a goner. And as I unstopped my ears I heard a song soaring through the air. I couldn’t believe my eyes a Mermaid perched up on the rocks and she said...

The Mermaid: Jonah! I’ve been waiting so long for you to come along! Jonah! Oh God must be kind and gentle. He’s brought you back into my arms!

Jonah: I’ve been water logged for quite some time. I must be so dehydrated. My mind is playing tricks with my eyes and she said...

The Mermaid: Jonah! I’ve been waiting so long for you to come along! Jonah! I’ve been watching you your whole life waiting thousands of years just to make you mine.

Jonah: Am I dead or am I awake?

The Mermaid: Don’t worry my dear. Just follow me into the sea. I’m going to love you forever.
Track Name: Is This Heaven?! Wait, Where Exactly Am I?!
Mermaid: I'm going to love you.

Jonah: Into the sea, we’re swimming. Just her and me. Is this what God had planned for me? Waltzing at the bottom of the sea.

The Mermaid: I'm going to take you deep inside the earth. We'll live a thousand years there. Living wild and happy and free at the bottom of the sea.

Jonah: Am I just seeing what I want to see. Have I always been. Am I just dreaming? Waltzing at the bottom of the sea.

The Mermaid: It's a long way down baby

The Captain (at the bottom of the sea): Through all Our Travels Across Vast Dimensions

The First Mate (at the bottom of the sea): la da da la da da

Jonah: Waltzing at the bottom of the sea.

Astrid: Drink up, darling. Don’t be afraid.
Track Name: Curtain Call
Astrid: I hope you find somebody who loves you the way that I did. Someone - Someone who can help you

The Mermaid: It's A Long Way Down, Baby OoooooooOooOoo

Jonah: When I was young I always knew that I would have to grow up, but how could I know that it would come so soon.

The Captain: Through all our travels across vast dimensions, through the horrid monster ridden salty seven seas one thing is clear...

The First Mate: Now I now I might as well be dead

The Crew: Hallelujah, Hallelujah. Kill him, Jonah. Kill him, Jonah!
Track Name: End Credits
(Instrumental)