Hectorina

by Hectorina

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credits

released September 8, 2015

written & performed by Hectorina
produced by Daniel Hodges
recorded at Old House Studios - Charlotte, NC
mastered by Dave Harris at Studio B Mastering - Charlotte, NC
album artwork by Eric Wattinne
layout, design & logo by Amanda Johnson
special thanks to Chris Garges & Guest Saxophonist Greg Jarrell
all songs Copyright 2014
all rights reserved

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Track Name: I Want to Be Well
Yesterday morning I woke up feeling blue
I decided I couldn't live without you
I dropped what I was doing
I left it all behind
As I drove to your house later that night ...

I want I want I want I want to be well
I want I want I want I want to be well
It's all I ...all I ... all I've ever wanted, baby

I got down on one knee as you opened up your door
and asked you to be mine forever more
You said "Yes" and I must confess it's the happiest I have been
in a long time... Maybe in my lifetime

I want I want I want I want to be well
I want I want I want I want to be well
It's all I ...all I ... all I've ever wanted, baby

As we embraced I felt sharp stinging in my side
I looked down and saw you holding a butcher's knife
As I lay bleeding in your living room
You looked down at me and smiled and said "I love you too"

I want I want I want I want to be well
I want I want I want I want to be well
It's all I ...all I ... all I've ever wanted, baby

From my pool of blood you smiled down at me
and I was so so so so happy ...and then I woke up
Track Name: I Traded My Gun for a Butterfly Net
I was gonna be the gunslinger, dead ringer
I was gonna go 10,000 miles, 10,000 miles
Help you up on your green horse, no remorse
We were gonna burn that motel down. Burn it to the ground

Who's gonna love you, baby?
Now the hounds have gotten their fill
No ones gonna love you like I loved you, baby
No ones gonna love you like I loved you, baby

We were gonna be the poltergeist, the antichrist
It was gonna be the end of time, the end of time
And you were gonna let me burn, both our turns
But I had a chance to snuff out that flame... Choke out that flame!

Who's gonna love you, baby?
Now the hounds have gotten their fill
No ones gonna love you like I loved you, baby
No ones gonna love you like I loved you, baby

All that's left inside your mind is pure evil
All that's left inside your mind is the damned devil
Track Name: Shriving Pew
I came to the house of a preacher man
and I told him that I'd hurt a lot of people in my life
and I'm searching for some f-f-f-f-forgiveness

He said "Boy, your life has just begun and things haven't gotten nearly as hard as their gonna be. I hope that you're ready!"

But, Father, can't you save my life?
No one can judge me for what I've done
I'll do whatever I can
I know I'll change in time

He said "It all ends here if you mean what you say"

I swear to God I didn't hear that man
I thought that I could go on living the way that I used to
Drinking and Swearing and Cruising the streets all night

Brother, drink up your wine
Come on everybody, let's go out dancing
I'll do whatever it takes, but not tonight

Who's gonna save my life?
No one can judge me but God himself
I try to tell myself that he's not there, but that's a damn lie

And it could all end here if I mean what I say
Track Name: Inside Your Heart
I'm out in the cold, oh baby
Feel it in my soul, baby
Youo0o0o0o0o0o0o Youoo0o0o0o0o0o0
Baby, Baby, Baby I'm alone in winter
Soaking up your heat to endure the shiver
Send out signals for thousands of miles
Wrapped up tight in telephone wires

I wanna get inside of your heart
I wanna get inside of your heart
Baby, please
I've got the key
Open up and give it to me

Crawl across the sun, oh baby
Starting to burn, baby
Youo0o0o0o0o Youo0o0o0o0
Baby, Baby, Baby getting caught in a dust storm
I can hear the howling winds they're getting closer
Traipse over sands. They're melting my bones
The heart of death valley can't even come close

I wanna get inside of your heart
I wanna get inside of your heart
Baby, please
I've got the key
Open up and give it to me

Show me how you dream as you fall asleep
Wandering eyes saw the light
Knocking on your door. You leave me wanting more
Wandering eyes saw the light

Have you felt so alive you almost died?
Track Name: Slave
I was the slave of a lover who'd rather keep me in shackles
and persuade me that we were drinking tea
in a creamsicle dream

There was a time when you could ease the doubts I held inside of my mind.
When we drank cherry wine you'd reach out with both your hands to cover my eyes.
And though all my chains were wrapped so sweetly... now I see.. that

I was the slave of a lover who had me drinking her poison
day after day I was swept away
in a nectarine scented haze

There was a time when you would ease the doubts I held inside of my mind.
When we drank cherry wine you'd reach out with both your hands to cover my eyes.
And though all my chains were wrapped so sweetly... now I see... that I was a slave
Track Name: Velma
Since I've been carried away
Subconscious thought is blurring my daze
Yours truly under falling confetti
My only goal is taking it easy

Twisted spine, Twisted spine
One of these days I'm gonna start sleeping right

Since I've been carried away
A fool's paradise, radiating
Yours truly floating on a baby grand
'cross a sea of broken glass

Twisted spine, Twisted spine
One of these days I'm gonna start sleeping right

... Laughing hard finally at last Laughing hard finally at lastLaughing hard finally at lastLaughing hard finally at lastLaughing hard finally at last
Track Name: I'm a Pretty Mean Hoofer, Buddy
Darling, what's with all this blood on my hands?
Push my coffin through electric factory land

Baby, what's the point in art or love
if we're all going to turn into dust?

Maybe the kids wont even hear these songs
They'll simply feel their pupils enlarged


Stretching out inside a shrinking cage
Track Name: Alright, You Win This Time, but next Time...
Sometimes I wonder what's gonna happen to you
I was in it for the long haul
but baby
you were just so so cruel
You've got my mind messed up
You got my mind messed up
Baby, You got my mind messed up

Sometimes I think you'll never smile again
unless you go back in time and relive your life as a kid.
Sneaking beer into Brocktown with your friends.
Things were so much easier then

But I will never find another lover that makes me feel the way that you did
I will never find another lover that makes me feel the way that you did
I used to love it baby when you'd tear open my breasts and vomit all your insecurities inside my chest and I'd feed on it ...I still feed on it ... It's not healthy

The girl I knew is dead. I grieve her everyday
You've got my mind messed up
She's got my mind messed up
Baby, You got my mind messed up

Sometime I think you'll never smile again
All that anger inside. Can't you see that I was trying to love you then?
Now you done got yourself another man
Can't you see that I'm better than him?

But I will never find another lover that makes me feel the way that you did
I will never find another lover that makes me feel the way that you did
I used to love it baby when you'd tear open my breasts and vomit all your insecurities inside my chest and I'd feed on it ...I still feed on it ... It's not healthy

Sometimes I wonder what's gonna happen to you
Track Name: Why Should I Wait?
Why should I wait? Happiness is just around the corner

What could be pleasing me the most about chasing all these ghosts?
Bygone days boasting fabrications now

Why should I wait? Happiness is just around the corner

Now I think is thought simply the same as conversing with my brain?
Talking to myself, Losing sense of self

Why should I wait? Happiness is just around the corner

It would ease my mind to let the sun rain down upon my third eye
Track Name: I Picked up a Black Snake, Then I Put It Back down
I've waited a lifetime just to be a child. Will I always be a child?
Maybe I should try a little bit harder.
Maybe you shouldn't get so mad to start with.
You've wasted no time shedding all your skin, but not your bad habits.
Maybe I should try a little bit harder.
Maybe you shouldn't get so mad to start with.

Let the pieces fall into place. The biggest jigsaw ever solved.

I want you. I want you.

The distinctive beat of clanking bones
In the brush I howl alone
Bark a tune 'til someone sings along

Now you're haunting me like a ghost
Sleeping in ten feet of snow
The sparrow sings a song in the pine grow
He'll sing a song so everyone will know

I wont ever be what you wanted me to be. I just wish you'd let me rest.
I wish you were dead

Sooner or later everyone I know will track me down and slit my throat
They'll cheer aloud when I can sing no more

Now you're haunting me like a ghost
Sleeping in ten feet of snow
The sparrow sings a song in the pine grow
He'll sing a song so everyone will know

I wont ever be what you wanted me to be. I just wish you'd let me rest.
I wish you success

I want you.
Track Name: Maybe It's for the Best
Maybe it's for the best that it's over and done with
Oh baby, I hope you're happy with someone new
someone who can make you feel the way I wanted

I ... I hope you don't go your whole life thinking that I didn't care about you cause I did and I do

Maybe we'll meet again when we're older and wiser
Oh baby, wouldn't it be beautiful
for me and you to finally be what I always wanted

I ... I hope you don't go your whole life thinking that I didn't care about you cause I did and I do